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Chaps lined up for their first league game in a month, looking to end a losing streak in cup competitions that has rocked the squad. The opponents were known to have a couple of dangerous attacking players, so manager Fronk moved Penny in front of the back four to police the game while Tomolinson returned at left back. Slater cleared a last-minute fitness test in the pre match warm up to slot in at right back, with Cromwell ahead of him on the right wing. With a returning Dowsett up front, the rest of the midfield looked strong with legendary names such as Tindall, Garvey and Feasey in place to give the opposition something to think about. Thornton returned in goal as Chaps look for their first clean sheet of the season.

Captain Garvey foolishly lost the coin toss which forced us to play the first half with the Autumnal sun in our eyes, a problem that Chaps eventually got around by playing the ball on the floor in their strong passing game. Prior to this, over twenty minutes of controlled pressure from Sporting Club Redditch (hereafter referred to as SCR) almost caused the Chaps to begin vocally abusing one another, but today there was a feeling of solidarity in the air that turned Chaps Utd into a giant sponge. Penny, seeking assistance from his new friends in midfield was settling into his new position as the game progressed, taking heart from Garvey's triple tackle technique and Feasey blindly jumping for balls that the sun demand he gives up on. Quality technicians of the likes of Tindall and Cromwell on the wings were getting the ball down and playing well, and the marauding Moore left the author relishing Chaps Utd new, somewhat organic tactic of "total football" as he filled in at the back on occasions, watching his colleagues perform similar feats all over the pitch.

After some dangerous SCR play, not one but two miraculous goal line clearances by Farr, and a couple of near misses SCR finally made the breakthrough when a clever lofted ball from the edge of the area found the striker who finished from close range. This left the Chaps fully saturated, and the expulsion of SCR dampness began. Feasey, always searching for that killer pass, finally found it with Dowsett on the end to finish left-footed into the bottom corner in his trademark style. Mere moments later a Chaps Utd corner on the left hand side was delivered to the far post by Tindall with the grace of an eagle swooping down on its prey. Unbeknown to the eagle however, this prey was the honey badger Dowsett, who absolutely murdered the ball into the back of the net from close range, Chaps Utd take the lead 2-1. The badger, with a hat-trick in his sights, burst into the box after racing onto another lovely through ball and was foolishly brought down, enabling him to complete the perfect hat-trick with a right-footed penalty, 3-1 to the Chaps.

Chaps were in ecstasy but knew they had to show they were capable of holding on to a lead, unfortunately disaster struck moments before half-time as stalwart Moore was caught awkwardly and fell into a ball of pain and despair. Chaps were no longer in ecstasy. A sickening feeling spread through the team as they watched Moore wailing in frustrated agony, like a giraffe too short to reach the tree leaves on a warm summer's day. Half time could not come soon enough. Fearing the worst, the Chaps Utd medical team moved to ice his damaged right knee and Mosedale elected to chauffeur him to the nearest medical establishment's accident and emergency ward, foregoing any chance of playing for the Chaps himself. New signing O'Brien was brought on for the final minute of the first half with Penny dropping back to center half to partner Farr.

After a distracted half time, Chaps began the second half extremely brightly, with the sun now on their backs they looked dangerous with every attack. Within five minutes O'Brien had already scored a dream debut goal for the Chaps to put them 4-1 up. Some great link up play with Dowsett presented the latter with a chance to score a fourth, only for him to square the ball across goal for O'Brien to finish. Some say there is no way he would have passed had he not already completed his hat-trick, I like to believe he has the intelligence to see that no player is bigger than Chaps Utd and 9 goals in 4 matches is actually good enough already, so I applaud you Mr. Dowsett.

Chaps' fourth goal effectively killed the game, with SCR showing none of the pace and attacking decisiveness that proved so dangerous during the first quarter. Some lacklustre marking did allow them to sneak an unlikely second with a powerful header from a right sided corner in the centre of goal. The remainder of the second half played out with Chaps controlling SCR's attacks and limiting them to long-range efforts ( other than 3 superb point blank stops from Thornton ) one of which was a vicious strike that hit Penny right in his love muscle with the force of a thousand stampeding buffalo, only for "The Machine" to rise back up, like the ending of Terminator 2 in reverse, defiant and powerful and ready to fight to the death to save John Connor Thornton and co. from relinquishing yet another lead.

Some say he is looking every bit in the prime of his career, after 6 injury filled seasons left him a shadow of his younger self, but at 31 age is not on his side, I guess only time will tell. Anyway, I digress; another 31 year old - Watkins - has to be commended for turning up on his birthday to run the line for the Chaps and wait his turn on the bench to finally get his reward with twenty minutes remaining, replacing Tindall on the left wing.

Chap of the Match today has to go to Mosedale, whose selfless act of sacrifice in taking Moore for medical treatment ended his run of playing in every single Chaps Utd game to date. This, avid readers, epitomises how one should act as a Chap, and should serve as a lesson to us all when we find ourselves in times of trouble. Mother Mary will not be there to comfort you, take solace instead in the approach adopted by big Eddie bear when caring for his brotherhood. Do as Eddie does. Eddie would go...