Chaps get back to winning ways in style

Report

Chaps return to league action this week after a week off. Seems a bit odd having to play this week, what with our religious commitments during Easter, but hey ho that's the life of a modern footballer for you. Two new signings today, and they are Chaps of old! We welcome Richard Henderson and Nick Clark into the fray, and they slotted straight into midfield and defense respectively in Fronk's 3-5-2 formation. Clark was joined at the back by the tower that is Tarplee, and our founder Farr. The midfield was packed with talent again, featuring Feasey, not drunk this week but sadly blind in one eye, Jones and Watkins playing as wing-backs, and of course captain Whalley. Dowsett and Mosedale were looking to cause some damage up front.

It was quiet start to the game with not much going on. This allowed me some time to analyse the various drinking styles of a couple of squad members, a brief report can be found below together with accompanying photographic captures.

Chaps were creating plenty of chances and by all accounts had a good half but worried that their missed chances would come back to haunt them. Captain Whalley made one count in the final minute of the half to give the Chaps something to build on. After a rocket of a strike from the edge of the area that hit the crossbar, I then missed the build up to his goal (I was weighing the remnants of used water bottles to obtain average H₂0 intakes that could then be cross referenced against drinking technique) which concluded in him passing the ball calmly into the net from 20 yards out, to the wide left of the penalty area. That's 11 goals for the season now, though the captain will not be happy until he has hit the 20 goal marker. I know how he feels having scored a sublime effort myself. Onto the second half!

A pretty poor start to this half, we seem to struggle getting back into games after the break. Luckily for us we have a Dowsett! A fine delivery from Clark—one of many during the game— into the penalty area found Dowsett who controlled impeccably and finished with grace.

This didn't halt our bad start however, and it wasn't long before LPR grabbed a foothold in the game with a far post header from a left-sided corner. They then went on to win, and then hilariously miss a penalty. Clark, having not played since 1988, was caught short on pace and was unlucky not to reach the ball with his sliding challenge.

Sensing the game may begin to slip away from the Chaps, our founder Farr felt the need to motivate his players with a heartfelt cry:

come on chaps, they are expecting us to tire but we won't, we are strong and we can do this!

To which blind Feasey and captain Whalley enquired just who from their team had told him that? Farr said:

nobody

and there was much rejoicing and floor based laughter.

Then, out of nowhere—and seemingly nothing—Dowsett won the ball on the outskirts of the penalty area over on the right hand side, beat his man and somehow managed to fire the ball low into the opposing corner of the net! A very jubilant moment! Chaps 3-1 to the good and starting to play football nicely. Clearly the motivational cry from our founder Farr had done it's job!

This spurred the whole team on, leading to a wonderful solo effort from Jones:

Dowsett then grabbed his SEVENTH hat-trick of the season, latching onto a fine through ball from our founder Farr and slotting cooly home for his THIRTY-THIRD goal of the season! He also picked up his SIXTH Man of the Match award so far this season, loves maths this Chap does.

A superb victory for the Chaps to keep them well in contention for the league title. Chap of the Match this week goes once again to our founder Farr, he was imperious at the back, winning every single tackle, grabbing an assist and linking play between defence and attack with great style. He continues to improve game after game, and now unsurprisingly leads the Chap of the Match table outright on 4 awards. Well done Chap!